Portland
Where should I begin? I guess I'll cover the end of April and the month of May. Needless to say it was a pretty amazing month. My Birthday was April 29th, it feel on the same day this year as it did the last 36! Crazy right! I knew I wanted to do something fun for it. Typically I spend the day at home watching The Simpsons or Scooby Doo. Nothing too eventful but this year I took advantage of the day and booked a trip to Portland. I planned the entire trek around a live show of The Fratellis!
So day one, I took off to a small comic book store to see if they would carry my Vampire Shark comic. Sadly they could not.
But the day was not a loss, I found a cool little restaurant that sold Cuban Sandwiches and was able to pass the vampire shark comic off to a young woman working there. Not sure if she had a chance to read it or not but if she did I am sure her life is better for it. :)
That night I was planning on dinner with my friend Kim and bumped into my friend from New York Patrick! Dinner was good, I got the spicy chicken and waffles but could only eat about half of it because my mouth was on fire. I'm sure it was good but I burnt my taste buds off so I couldn't tell you.
Finally off to the Frattelis! This is the second time I got to see them live but it the first time was tainted by the fact that my car got wrongly towed. As big a fan as I am of this band I was a little underwhelmed by them, while their music sounds like it's coming from a CD (they are very good) they don't seem to be interested in bringing the crowd into the show. Each song ends with the singer saying "Thank you" and then the next song. It's nice not to hear a singer waste a bunch of time by trying to be funny but I still feel they needed a little more. I enjoyed the show and loved their cover of Runaround Sue! I would be thrilled to if they released that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwssNdHXmxA
After that I ended the night by walking to Voodoo Donuts, unlike other famous restaurants (looking at you In- Out- Burger) this lived up to they hype. Each donut was about the size of a cake. Of course I got the Homer Simpson and a limited Banana cream Donut.
I took them back to my hotel, swam around for about 20 minutes, sat in a hot tub, and then ate donuts and passed out! A pretty unforgettable trip.
Millie the Duck
So, earlier in the year my Goddaughter Kaylin told me she had written a children's book and asked me if I would read it and give her some pointers. Here's the thing, I've had my vampire shark comic sitting in my computer for a good ten years, not sure if I could or should do anything with it, so I took some income tax money and reached out to my amazingly talented friend Jonathan Sims and had him illustrate the entire book. Her jaw dropped when she saw it for the first time! She ordered 60 copies and sold out in a day, which is more than I have sold my vampire shark comic. I was hoping to inspire her not be shown up by her. But I am extremely proud of her and excited to get this into stories here in Des Moines.
Twitter @millietheduck
instagram millietheduck
While speaking of talented nieces, Lauryn closed out a talent show blew everyone away with her cover of Come Together! I took guitar lessons for a year and when I was done I knew less about playing guitar then I did when I started and she did this! I am proud of these kids but stop showing me up. Come one guys!
"Hit it"
Instagram laurynvmusic
soundcloud/lauryn-vonahnen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DkJIPEqMJQ&feature=youtu.be
The Struts
Last fall we saw the Foo Fighters and they were amazing but the opening band The Struts may have really stollen the show. Everyone in my group looked at each other and said "Who are these guys?" "They are amazing!" So when they announced their own tour my brother Chad and I grabbed tickets as soon as we could. Night of the show my bag was packed and I left the office and was Kansas City bound. Chad and I took a Lyft ride to a good bbq joint. I feel like this ride needs to be mentioned because she had water and candy waiting for us! I wish I could tell her name because that was amazing! I just want to hang out in her car.
Anyway the bbq was good, I ordered the greatest wings in the world. They were good but a little braggadocious. Very good wings with a good personality would be a better name.
After that was a quick cigar and beer.
Then the Struts!
Before they took the stage I had to go say hi to my friend, world famous air guitarist Nielsen Nacis.
Once again the band destroyed the room, at one point Chad pulled me to his ear and said "How are these guys not bigger?" I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they are headlining stadiums. Check them out live the first chance you can!
Also, stopped Steak and Shake to soak up some little of the previous evenings fun. Seriously Des Moines needs a Steak and Shake.
Des Moines Air Guitar
A couple years ago my buddy Ryan told me was going to start competing in Air Guitar. I had known that they did competitive air guitar but didn't know it was happening in Iowa. Turns out Iowa is home to 8th ranked US Air Guitarist Flying Finn. Ryan took on the name of Harvey Wahlbanger and began competing. The first couple years I sat it out BUT three years ago he talked me into getting on stage. I preformed as the super hero The Tick! And it was exhilarating and fun. By the second year I knew I needed my own stage persona so I came up with Mean Gene Simmons, a mixture of Mean Gene from WWF and Gene Simmons from Kiss. I try to paint my face like like a KISS character, giving myself a big black mustache Ala Mean Gene but I can't do make up. I mean I can barley tie my shoes.
This year I competed to the song Hocus Pocus by Focus. I felt like I was doing OK but knew I needed something to really push myself so halfway during my song, during the yodeling portion, I ripped open my shirt to revel googly eyes taped to my nipples. Why? What does this have to do with anything? I don't know but Finn was laughing pretty hard and I got almost 3 6s so I guess that worked out.
During the intermission I was asked to do some stand up comedy. I was apprehensive because these are notoriously hard sets but finally gave into peer pressure. Before I took the stage I told Ryan, "I have this new joke about Mr. Rogers. Not sure if I should do it." I told him the premise and he responded with "You have to do that!"
I took the stage for the second time that night, as comedian Marc Von Ahnen, and started telling jokes. It went OK at first but then I jumped into Mr. Rogers and it began fine but then kind of took a turn. I couldn't read the crowd. Some people were laughing and others seemed to be getting very angry until I was being booed and asked to leave the stage. I did sell a couple vampire shark comics. Afterwards I was told that the joke was hilarious and amazing so I have no idea what to make of that night.
Then I had to do another air guitar set. I really didn't want to be up there! I mean half that crowd was not a fan of me as a person. This had to be the year I got to round two!!?!?!?! Long story short I finished 5th and survived and had a lot of fun!
Also Harvey Wahlbanger won the whole thing!
Harvey Wahlbanger
Twitter @wahly22
Flying FInn
Twitter @Flying_Finn
Wizard World
So Tuesday before Wizard World I got a call from my friend Josh who offered me a chance to do stand up at Wizard World Des Moines. I emailed his contact and she informed me that this would be a paying gig but I had to do 30 minutes Saturday and 40 minutes Sunday and this had to be a family friendly show. Seeing as how I only have about 19 minutes, none of it clean, and I was literally booed off a stage 3 days ago I should have said no but I couldn't resist not only going to Wizard World but getting paid for it so I said "That's perfect."
I messaged my friend Joel and he and I split the money and the time. On Saturday I got there a little early to walk around and spent some extra cash, check out the costumes, meet people and push the show. I went up to Iowa comic book artist Phil Hester, who was working on Batman Beyond, and he told me he remembered my vampire shark comic! I was pretty thrilled by that and forced him to take a picture with me.
Joel and I finally found out that our set was on the "Main Stage" the very first thing people see while walking into Wizard World. Again, not ideal for stand up comedy. Comedy is extremely hard do in an area where people are not interested or wanting to hear comedy but we had to do it.
I tried writing some jokes about what I saw there, one about seeing Saruman from Lord of the Rings leaving the bathroom which sadly didn't work. I think it's funny and maybe just needs some tooling. Joel did great both days, his joke about the Song Devil Went Down to Georgia is one of my favorite jokes I've ever heard. I had good sets too, in fact someone came up to me after my set telling me how much they loved my Flintstones joke and I demanded a picture. He's now my best friend even though he's stopped taking my calls.
On Monday I messaged Joel and told him, all things considering, having to put on a clean show on a stage for a crowd that didn't know comedy stand up comedy was happening and only had half a week to get ready, we put on a good show!
PS who is that Aerial? I would sell my voice for her!
