Monster Mayhem
What a wild weekend! Mostly just Saturday I was pretty dead tired on Sunday.
Last week I found out about and got approved to be part of the Monster Mayhem show at Mayhem comics in Des Moines. I am out of issues of the comics so I decided to just take some posters and got a note pad for an email list.
It was a small hodgepodge of local creators, all of them had a lot of excellent talent on display and were extremely friendly and cool.
That night was our Air Guitar and I convinced Flying Finn to come out dressed in his full garb and get me flyers to hand out for that nights show.
Sadly I didn't sell any vampire shark posters but a number of people did sign up for my email list so hopefully they will be interested in getting the issues later on.
Air Guitar
I look forward to our air guitar show all year. It seriously is like second Christmas to me. Just a big goofy time where everyone seems to have a blast!
I had to leave Monster Mayhem early so I could go grab face paint and get into full Mean Gene Simmons persona. Not being great at applying face paint shouldn't come as to big a surprise from a guy who can barley dress himself. Typically I just end up looking like a toddler who really got into his birthday cake.
Luckily, there was someone who was excited to help me apply it. It was funny because the entire time she said "This side looks so bad. I am messing it up." And it was seriously the best make up I have ever had. I didn't look like I had walked into a pie or something.
Soon the judges starting to show up. One of them was my brother Andy and he told me was a little nervous because "If I gave you a good score I am afraid that people will just think that I am going easy on you because you're my brother."
"Give me a super low score," I said. "I don't have the time or the money to go the next round (in Nashville) so I can't win one way or another."
Then I got a text from Wes letting me know he and Jess and Travis were there. As I approached them Travis doubled over in laughter at my face paint.
"You need to stuff your crotch like Kiss," He said. That was a good idea so Travis and I retreated into the bathroom to find what I can shove down the front of my pants to make it look like I had a giant bulge. My shoe didn't work, A can of red bull slide down my pants leg, maybe a hotdog? Then I had the idea of shoving paper towels down there and it created an impressive bulge.
As always, the magic hour approached and everyone had to pull cards to find out there place in the line up. I got second, which was fine by me.
Flying Finn took to the stage and made some announcements, introduced the judges, and then showed the crowd what competitive air guitar looked like. While he did that, I stood behind the stage and pushed the wad of paper towels down my pants, took one step and they fell to the floor. Crap, any movement will cause these to just drop. I had to totally change my plans. I was planning on ripping my shirt open during my guitar solo to reveal my bulge but instead decided to do it right at the beginning. I felt the idea of my crotch stuffing falling out while I performed would be a good laugh.
I missed the first performer, if he is half as great as his stage name, Def Leprechaun, then he destroyed.
I took the stage and I ripped my shirt open and pointed to the sky as a nod to start my song. It was Johnny B Good from Back to the Future, I figured I had seen BTTF so many times that I could recreate the solo scene by memory... Sadly I could not.
Air guitar is fun and goofy but it is also kind of difficult. Kind of like improv comedy, you have to think on your feet and really get out of your bubble. Something I am not great at doing. I felt it was on ok performance but not anything note worthy. Nothing that would take me to Nashville let alone Finnland.
Afterwards the judges came on, Andy went first. "Ok so everyone should know this, I am Marc's older brother and he has once again embarrassed the entire family. I am giving you a 4.0 because it is the lowest score I can give you." The crowd booed Andy which filled me with pride. Here's a fun bit of trivia, two Von Ahnen boys have gotten booed two years in a row at air guitar.
"Also, what was with the paper towels coming out of your pants?" Ok so maybe that joke didn't work. I then go 5.3 from the other two judges. I am pretty sure that was the lowest score of the night. I know why Andy gave me such a low score but was the their problem?
I missed the next couple of performers because I had to wash my face paint off.
The rest of the show was a real blast. Jampire put up a splash zone sign and handed the judges ponchos for his jelly blood he spit up. Last years champ Harvey Wahlbanger had his girlfriend and friend fire confetti at him while he performed which seriously freaked me.
Most people think Harvey Wahlbanger is my friend but that's not true. I actually don't like him as a human. He has very few good qualities. You should know that before I say this next part. He had an amazing performance. Unlike me he is better at getting out his bubble and trowing caution to the wind. I could see him making it to Finnland.
BUT!
The best moment of night, in my opinion, was Courtney Shove , she did Nirvana's Smells like Teen Spirit. All I can really say about this was it was almost like an Andy Kaufman bit. She trolled the entire room, did very little air guitar, and it was hilarious. I held my sides from laughing at that. I was a little jealous of it.
Flying Finn also surprised our friend and air guitar enthusiast Rick Sheaffer by playing his bands song. It's a heavy metal song all about math. Rick loved it and it turns out carries a calculator with him. He approached me at one point and said "Do you want to do some hard math?" Joke is on you Rick. All math is hard.
Harvey Wahlbanger walked with another air trophy and got first place. It was one of the best years of air guitar we have ever had. Unless you hate Harvey Wahlbanger. Which I do.
Dogs I Saw
This week I talk to Tyler Walpole about his love of dragons, Magic the Gathering, his artwork and wonders if about the homosexual contexts of Reign of Fire.
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/dogsisaw/episodes/2019-05-28T12_29_15-07_00
His work can be found at http://www.bloodofdragons.net/
https://twitter.com/TylerWalpole?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
https://www.instagram.com/tyler_walpole_illustration/?hl=en
Sucks To Suck
Also, help out the new indie movie Sucks To Suck. You can support it here
https://www.facebook.com/donate/2221251874872023/10219511888693013/
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